so, if you’ve been wondering why i haven’t posted anything on the website lately, i’ll fill you in on a couple of things.

the morons who built this website didn’t actually make this a blog. there is no code in it that says, “hey, google, over here! i’m a blog!”. it’s just a website i can write on. translation: it’s crap.

anyway, this is only one of MANY things that these morons, named MISSION E COMMERCE, didn’t do properly or at all to my site. so, we are suing them. yay!

anyway, i still have a blog, but it’s over on durtbagz.wordpress.com and i update it regularly with the same kind of stuff. as for this piece of crap site, it’s doomed. but not to fear: we’re already in the works for a new, improved website that actually accomplishes something, built by people who are competent to do so. awesome.

so check out durtbagz.wordpress.com and catch up on the latest DURTBAGZ nonsense. this will be the last post on here until the site goes in the trash, where it belongs.

peace out.

while at our booth at tempe music festival, we held a drawing for a new Durtbag. luckily, our winners have just as lame a sense of humor as we do. and they agreed to answer our 20 questions, so we can get to know our newest Durtbagz a little bit better.

Name Kristi

2. Worst movie you’ve ever seen? Nacho Libre (I just don’t get it)

3. If you found yourself face-to-face with Paris Hilton, what would you say to her? I don’t think I would say anything, I’d be too busy laughing

4. Why did you stop by the Durtbagz booth at the Tempe Music Fest? “I thought, ‘Are you serious, does that bag really say that? What else is there?’”

5. Favorite character on “The Office”? I think Pam and Jim are great, but nobody can beat the randomness of Creed!

6. How tall are you? 5′6”

7. What did your parents nickname you when you were a kid? Kristi Annie (my middle name is Ann and I would always watch the musical Annie)

8. How do you feel about Jared from Subway? Great job losing the weight, but not so great losing your wife.

9. Oprah scares me because… She yells when she announces

10. Favorite state in the Union? I’m a fan of the great AZ. It’s got it all, lakes, desert, forest, snow, and a big fat hole in the ground!

11. What is your favorite drink, alcoholic/non-alcoholic? It’s got to be a vanilla Dr. Pepper.

12. Have you ever seen Mariah Carey’s movie, Glitter? Be honest. Honestly, nope.

13. If you got to be Head Bag Lady for a day at Durtbagz.com, what’s the first thing you’d do with your new-found power? Give every homeless person a bag. hey, it’s advertizing. What homeless person would throw something like this away?

14. What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done at work? The Tootie-Tah! (I work with kids!)

15. Favorite song lyric? “In this cruel and lonely world, I found one love.” –Josh Groban “You’re Still You”

16. If I were Britney Spears, I would… switch to the good kind of crazy and give away lots of my money!

17. Where do you live now? Gilbert

18. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in Vegas? Cirque du Soleil

19. Name one thing you plan to haul around in your new Durtbag: books

20. Favorite movie quote? “Cheese Grommit!” –Wallace & Grommit “A Grand Day Out”

newsflash: fergie might be produced in a studio. i know…shocking. but, at least she’s a good speller and that makes her a good role model. i mean, just listen, “T, to the A, to the S-T-E-Y, girl you tast…y”. wait a minute…THERE IS NO “E” IN TASTY. but it rhymes, so, what’s an extra E? it’s not like elementary school age kids listen to her….right?

i had to listen to her “sing” at the tempe music festival. the best thing i can say about her gig is that she didn’t pee in her pants on stage this timem. which, is actually too bad, because that might have improved things.

let me say this, the tempe music fest? fantastic. the other bands were great; especially the local bands. i actually found my new favorite band on saturday, “seconds to breathe“. take away the semi-cheesy name and these guys are incredible. they sound like incubus meets jimmy eat world, plus a dash of foo fighters. which happens to be my favorite bands all rolled into one.

before fergie hit the stage, she did an interview with the promoters and it was up on the big screens for the crowd to see. the first question was, “fergie, why are you so awesome?”. brilliant. however, the interviewer redeemed himself later in the interview, by stating, “we all know you used to be addicted to meth. you’ve come a long way since then, huh?”

sir, i applaud you.

BUT, apparently, she hasn’t.

at 11pm, fergie hits the stage to a packed crowd. and promptly sang three lines of different songs in a random montage of her music. i use the term “sang” very loosely. i’m pretty sure i can sing “uh”, “yeah”, “what?” while walking around a stage. i’ll do it, if you don’t believe me. in fact, i have.

oh yeah, and something weird happened when she began singing. during her pre-show interview, she spoke normally, with no hint of an accent at all. i guess the microphone makes you sound like you’re from Jersey, because in the first “song-third”, she breaks out “they spend they moneys on mey”-HUGE THICK ACCENT. what just happened? remember how everyone here heard you speak not 5 minutes ago? you don’t talk like that. the rest of the concert? fake accent.

also, since she was only singing “song-thirds”, she ran out of her own material pretty quick. like, 10 minutes in. so, to stall, she changed clothes. (keep in mind, this show was only an hour long). 5 minutes later, she’s out on stage again, singing other peoples’ songs. and this is about where the wheels fall off. for the next 30 minutes, she BUTCHERED cover songs of legit bands like rolling stones, tom petty, pretenders…and it looked like the concert was over. people were leaving like there was a fire. and we were outside.

i actually thought it might be over, but no. one look at the jumbo-tron proved she was still up there, not singing her songs. actually, if we’re keepin it real, she was not singing at all, really. i walked down to the edge of the crowd later on, and there was more lip synching going on there than ashley simpson on an SNL stage. there were not enough performers on the planet to save her in this performance. in her defense, it was the song “glamorous” and that is wicked hard to spell. no E’s.

such a bad, bad deal. if i had paid $55 for a ticket…i would have puked on myself and probably others around me. and they would have thanked me for giving them something else to focus on than her.

in a (fergie) word “s-h-i-t-e-o-u-s”.

so, i decided to do a top 10 random things i did as a child/high schooler/college student.

i’m an only child and i grew up in the ozarks, in a place where olive garden won ‘best italian restaurant’ year after year after year. if that doesn’t entice you, you must be way too cool. or you have a job.

if you’re bored, check it out here. if you’re not bored, then what the eff are you doing reading this? move along, winner.

this weekend, a college girlfriend called to inform me that she had kept a journal of our nights out, our senior year at KU. this is incredible to me, because we went out a lot our senior year.

she found it, the other day, and had to share with me one of her entries. it said this:

“went to game. tailgated at mcb’s. went to the crossing, the wheel, the hawk, quinton’s, and west. home early.”

home early? what? because we left before they actually kicked everyone out of the bar? home early, as in, we made it home before someone puked? or because we remember getting home? home early because we didn’t go to an after party?

if i tailgated and then hit five bars today…i would be speaking a language no one could possibly understand. not even me.

i’m jealous of my old tolerance levels. today, if i have a 6% beer, i can feel it. one martini and i’m halfway to the end of the night. doing a shot? i just threw up in my mouth a little bit writing those words.

what happened? i’m only 30 and i still drink. i’m not sure why i’ve become such a pansy when it comes to alcohol, while my 50 year old uncle can drink me under the table. and did, last christmas. while i managed to puke in his son’s bed. about 10 minutes after i gave my cousin a ‘no honk guarantee’. whoops.

i used to be able to go out from about noon to closing time (2am) and then hit another house party after that. for a while, my junior year, the night wasn’t over unless i had made an appearance at the phi delt house and yelled on their megaphone for a little bit. i’m not making this up. they also had a plastic bowling kit that i was obsessed with. i wasn’t the only one.

some of my favorite parts of college happened the day after a great night of going out. my girlfriends and i would get together over a healthy breakfast, like a breaded chicken sandwich and onion rings from burger king, and piece the night together. and laugh. laugh until we cried. and we’d have jokes we talk about for the rest of college. and people would get new nicknames. one of my favorites was ‘zane the pain, in the bathtub, i’m drowning’. “(no idea what that means. but i do know that this guy was as dumb as a rock and at one point, actually u-locked his bike to the fire hydrant in his frat house. brilliant.)

one night, after a house party, we woke up the next morning to a car parked in the front yard. who’s car? who knows. they weren’t there anymore. but apparently, they really had to park as close to the front door as possible.

another morning, we woke up to the coffee table a couple other pieces of furniture in the front yard. it was to make more room for the dance party, but none of us remembered that at the time. we thought we’d been robbed, until we opened the front door.

i’ve got evidence of us attempting to make a music video at 2:30am. i’m wearing leather pants. yes, leather. there was no pleather in our closets. we were classy.

i regularly had bruises i couldn’t explain. i went on multiple pub crawls in a u-haul. as in, the back of the u-haul. some mornings, i’d grab the paper on my way up the sorority house steps, on my way to bed.

and what are the morning-after’s like now? me, on the couch, curtains drawn, with my same healthy breakfast. not laughing. no new nicknames. no random car in the front yard. just me, my husband, and our crappy hangovers. which take the entire day to cure.

i feel old. because i can’t drink like i used to? yes. you might think this is pretty immature. and it is. but let’s remember who’s writing this. i have a business called ‘durtbagz‘ that designs fake street signs on satchels and messenger bagz. i can quote ‘the big lebowski’ quite well. i once cut mullets for three friends on april fool’s day.  i used to walk through the mall with my beach towell around my neck like a cape. why? because it’s fun. why do you think all the superheros wear them? not because they make you fly, i’ll tell you that right now.

so, there’s my rant for today. wishing i could drink like i did before i was legally able to. who’s with me?

i scored the biggest interview yet. bigger than tomkat. bigger than amy wine-my-face-is-falling-off-house. bigger than toilet lady.

kristin davis, aka charlotte from sex in the city.

if you watch TMZ or read perez, and i’m willing to bet most of you are guilty of one of those, you know that kristin has some photos floating around the internet of her in mildly unpleasant positions. well, maybe not so unpleasant for whomever is taking the photos. with the sex in the city movie due out in may, i talked to kristin about her untimely photos and upcoming movie.

DB: so, kristin, thanks for taking the time to talk to me. i am a huge fan of sex in the city.

KD: oh good.

DB: yeah. huge. i watch all of the reruns on TBS late night. i think i’ve seen every one at least four times.

KD: wow. you do like the show.

DB: yeah. i really do. so let’s talk about these mysterious photos that have popped up.

KD: well, they actually me. i know my publicist said it didn’t look like me, but that’s because they were taken five years ago. it actually is me.

DB: in all of them?

KD: yes.

DB: why did you take those photos?

KD: i didn’t. i couldn’t. i was busy.

DB: i mean, why did you let someone take those photos of you like that? so un-charlotte-like.

KD: well, i wasn’t exactly expecting him to leak them on the internet. and i’m not really charlotte. she’s just the character i play.

DB: true. it’s still shocking, though. i mean, i can’t believe that it’s really you. you seem so calm about it. what did trey think when they came out?

KD: well, first of all, trey was my husband on the show. not my real husband. trey doesn’t really exist so…

DB: i know that. but still, it must have bothered him a little bit.

KD: uh…well. the person that played trey was a little bit surprised. but he wasn’t upset, because we weren’t really together. besides, it was five years ago. i was younger and in love and stupid.

DB: yeah, trey was such a dope. and so weirdly stuck to his mother. who was also a douche, i might add. how you ever dealt with her, i’ll never know.

KD: ah…actually, i didn’t really have to deal with her. i just acted with her. we were all just acting for the show. we weren’t really married and that’s not really his mother.

DB: oh, i know that. i just can’t beleive that someone so anti-BJ would have photos circulating of her in that position. i mean, you hate doing that. you’re always telling the girls that, how it makes you gag and everything.

KD: well, that’s charlotte. she doesn’t like doing that and that’s a big part of her personality and attitude. but in real life, i’m not like that.

DB: well, what did miranda think when she saw the pictures?

KD: you mean, cynthia nixon?

DB: sure.

KD: she just laughed. i mean, she’s got her own stuff that’s written about her all over the place.

DB: yeah, no kidding. having a illegitimate kid will do that.

KD: i’m sorry?

DB: you know…her and steve.

KD: oh, on the show.

DB: uh huh. now, how do the girls treat you now that these photos have surfaced? i mean, week after week, there you are, in the diner, talking about how much you hate giving oral sex. and yet, there you are, right in front of them, proving otherwise. do you worry that they might begin to think you are hypocritical?

KD: um…no, because like i said, we were just acting on the show. i was just acting like charlotte and they were just acting like their characters. none of us are like them in real life. we have totally different and separate lives than the people we portray on the show.

DB: of course. so, what does harry think of these pictures coming back to haunt you five years later? does he know trey?

KD: sure, they know each other because they act on the same show. harry (uses air quotes) doesn’t care one way or the other. he knows it just someone being a jerk.

DB: wow. i can’t believe harry isn’t more upset. i’d be pissed if my spouse showed up like that on the internet. especially, you being a mother now and all.

KD: that’s just on the show. i don’t have any kids in real life. i’m not even married in real life. all of that is made up.

DB: okay, then. you’re saying that everything on the show is fake and not like you real lives?

KD: yes.

DB: and so nothing that happens on the show actually happens to you in real life?

KD: right.

DB: so, “samantha” isn’t really a whore?

KD: no.

DB: and “carrie” isn’t really a writer?

KD: correct.

DB: and miranda really didn’t divorce her husband and turn into a lesbian?

KD: no, that part is true.

DB: huh. so in real life, you’re actually kind of a whore, cynthia is now into the ladies, sjp kind of looks like a horse, and what’s the last girl’s name?

KD: kim catrall

DB: right. kim is actually not a whore, but instead a total bitch?

KD: (pauses for a while) yes?

DB: great. that’s all the time i’ve got. thanks for talking, see you on the big screen in may.

KD: wait, tha-

what? i had tennis. geez. besides, none of this is real. duh.

yo, durtbagz! what’s up? it’s one of the best days of the year, st. paddy’s day. i’m a wee bit irish and i like green beer. actually, i like any kind of beer, no matter the color. green just happens to be my favorite color, so that works out well.

um, i’m kind of embarrassed to admit this to everyone, but i just discovered that we have e-cards on durtbagz.com. yep. i do own this company. and yes, i did create the business model and everything. no, i was unaware of the e-cards because i never asked for that. but now that i know about this…look the efff out.

have you ever seen any of our signs or photos and wanted to send them to someone? i know i have.

here’s the deal: register and login. when you see a sign you like, click on it, click on the envelop at the top right. and boom goes the dynamite. it’s just that easy.

i just sent a photo to one of my girl friends of the fat guy, wearing the sweatshirt that says, “I Beat Anorexia”. LOVE IT!

so, check it out for yourself and send durtbagz e-cards for a great laugh.

later-

head bag lady.

i was a little worried about my interview this week. i had one set up with britney’s paparazzi boyfriend, Head-on, apply directly to the butt head, but he wasn’t allowed in my neighborhood. which is really weird because i don’t live in a gated community. my bet is that it was the skateboard bullies that kept him out. i should give them some new grip tape because they probably did me a favor.

i thought i was screwed, until i watched the news on wednesday and was given the beautiful story of “woman stuck on toilet for two years.” it’s like it was wrapped up in a little bow for me. i called the hospital in wichita and oddly enough, it was super easy to get her on the phone. i always thought of wichita as a high-action town, but maybe i’m wrong. regardless, here is my phone interview with…uh…toilet woman from kansas.

DB: hello?

TWFK: oh…hello? (talking to someone else in the room, ‘it sounds like there is someone in there. is there someone in there?’ then a male voice says, ‘just talk into it.’)  he…hello?

DB: yeah, this is erin with durtbagz? i’m calling to interview you?

TWFK: oh (again talking to someone in the room,’ there IS someone in there.’) hello, can you hear me?

DB: yep. can you hear me?

TWFK: oh yes! i can’t believe you can actually fit in there! you must be tiny, hahaha!

DB: um…sure. let’s talk about the day you went into the bathroom. did you plan on staying in there for a while?

TWFK: well, when i got in there, i just felt really comfortable. really relieved.

DB: yes, but you went to the bathroom. everyone feels better after but we don’t decide to live in there.

TWFK: well, i don’t know why not. it’s perfect in there, it’s like the perfect little space.

DB: how so?

TWFK: well, there’s a place to sit. a place to get clean, a place to drink. it’s warm. there was a window.

DB: doesn’t the rest of the house have those things as well?

TWFK: yes, but there were people out there, in the rest of the house.

DB: what kind of people?

TWFK: people that had two arms, two legs, a head, a mouth, two eyes, a tail, two feet. just normal people.

DB: these people had tails?

TWFK: sure. normal people, like i said. with tails and claws.

DB: did these people talk?

TWFK: sure. but i couldn’t understand them very well.

DB: why not?

TWFK: well, first off, they were so loud. always making loud noises. and i only speak american. i didn’t understand them.

DB: what were they speaking?

TWFK: i don’t know. i couldn’t understand them.

DB: i mean, what language were they speaking?

TWFK: oh. i think they called it ‘cyborg’.

DB: uh…cyborg? are you sure?

TWFK: yes, that’s right. cyborg. it was so weird. lots of really loud clicks too.

DB: how did you meet these people?

TWFK: they knocked on my door one afternoon. they said they wanted to talk to me about the book of morman. i don’t have that book, i only have one book and i know the name of it and it isn’t morman.

DB: what is it?

TWFK: it’s called ‘oh the places you’ll go’. it’s by a doctor.

DB: i’m familiar.  go back to the mormans.

TWFK: the who?

DB: oh, the people who spoke cyborg, i mean.

TWFK: well,  i thought it wouldn’t hurt to talk about another book, you know, to broaden my horizon. so, i invited them in to sit down.

DB: how many where there?

TWFK: 34 of them. it was just one family.

DB: okay. what happened then?

TWFK: well, they started chanting something and got in a big circle around me.

DB: could you understand what they were saying?

TWFK: no. they spoke regular american up to that point. then, they all started talking all weird and i couldn’t understand anything they were saying.

DB: and what happened then?

TWFK: then, the kids started hopping around me. they were holding on to each other’s tails and hopping around in a circle. and then it got real bright.

DB: what do you mean?

TWFK: it just got real bright in the room. i had to cover my eyes. and then it got silent.

DB: everyone stopped chanting?

TWFK: yes. and they were gone.

DB: where did they go?

TWFK: i don’t know, but there were all these pods in my living room.

DB: pods?

TWFK: yes. like, big pods. and they were all wet. like they had been under water.

DB: really?

TWFK: yes.

DB: then what happened?

TWFK: well, i wanted to know what was in the pods and so i got a saw and i cut one open. and this weird thing came out.

DB: like what?

TWFK: it was this super bright floating thing. with eyes.

DB: did it say anything?

TWFK: no. it just floated in the air and looked at me.

DB: wow.

TWFK: yes, and i was scared. so, i went into the bathroom.

DB: wait a second. i thought you had a boyfriend there living with you.

TWFK: he was.

DB: where was he while all of this was going on?

TWFK: at work.  he’s a hit man.

DB: what?!?

TWFK: yes, and he was in LA for work.

DB: seriously?

TWFK: uh huh. and he had to get five people and he needed help, so he hired a black cab driver to help him. he was very feisty.

DB: wait a second…

TWFK: and then (sounds like the phone is being taken out of her hands. there’s a lot of scuffling. then someone else gets on the phone.)

??: uh, hello? is someone on here?

DB: uh, yes ma’am. i was talking with…ah…the toilet woman?

??: she can’t be talking on the phone, this is the mental ward! we don’t allow patients to be on the phone. (yelling at someone in the room, ‘wally, did you put her on the phone? i told you the next time you do that, i’m taking the remote control away. now, give it to me.’) i’m sorry, i’m hanging up now. she cannot be on the phone.

DB: wait, just a second! did you say she’s watching tv?

??: yes.

DB: what is she watching?

??: well, they were watching lord of the rings, then some dr. seuss thing. then it went to sound of music. then they switched it to cocoon and now it’s on some movie with tom cruise and jaime foxx. i don’t know what the name of that one is.

DB: damn.

??: i have to go now. wally is about to eat a fake fire log.

phone goes dead.

i got duped by the toilet woman from kansas. impressive.

top 10 people i’d rather see in the marilyn monroe re-make photo shoot than fake old person, lindsay lohan.

check it out here, here or over here.

here’s the deal. i can’t stand avril lavigne. i think she’s a complete turd and basically your run-of-the-mill jerk. i love seeing her on perezhilton because he has the most perfect things to say about her and loser-ness. so you can imagine my surprise when i get a phone call from her and ended up doing this interview.

she saw the one i did with heidi and spencer and called me to tell me how much of an idiot i was for publishing them. i informed her that i wasn’t the one wasting my time calling total strangers to tell them they are lame. then i called her paris hilton for not having anything better to do, considering she’s allegedly on a tour and all, eh?

then she told me to eff myself, that i didn’t even know her. so i said, fine. let’s interview you so the rest of humanity, who also isn’t that into you, can get a shot of the real avril. and she bit. what a douche. i took full advantage.

DB: so avril, why are you such a jerk? i mean, you’re not even 25 yet and already so jaded that you’re painful. what’s the deal?

AL: i’m just real. i call it like i see it and people don’t like hearing the truth. i tell them exactly what i think and exactly where they stand. if people get mad at that , then f— them.

DB: giving someone your opinion isn’t necessarily the truth; it’s just your opinion. and you dump it all over everyone all the time. that’s what gets you into trouble.

AL: i’m just calling people out on their fakeness. i’m keeping it real.

DB: real what?

AL: what?

DB: yeah. well, people might be more interested in you and your music if you weren’t so angry about everyone all the time.

AL: what do you mean?

DB: i mean that you piss people off because you shoot your mouth off about every body. you even bitched about gwen steffani. who the heck bitches about gwen steffani?

AL: that girl is a phony and full of s—. she’s only on stage for a total of 42 minutes during her entire show.

DB: so what? i’d pay more to see her for 42 minutes than i would to suffer through you for 3 hours. and i think most people feel the same way. gwen is a performer. you’re an a-hole.

AL: yeah? well, maybe i am an a-hole, but i deliver to my fans.

DB: how do you know? did you ask both of them?

AL: i have tons of fans.

DB: oh. are they deaf or mute?

AL: you’re an a-hole.

DB: what april? i’m keeping it real.

AL: it’s avril.

DB: whatever, i heard it was april and your parents spelled it wrong on your birth certificate.

AL: jesus, you’re so annoying.

DB: really? hello, kettle? yeah, it’s pot calling…

AL:  i don’t even know what that means.

DB: well, i wouldn’t expect you to. it’s an american saying and since english is your second language, i’m not surprised.

AL: we speak english in canada, you dork.

DB: oh, i thought you’re stuff was translated and that’s why the lyrics were so bad. huh, you speak english naturally?

AL: yes! god, you’re stupid. you should kill yourself.

DB: now you know how any person that has ever interviewed you has felt at some point during said interview.  let’s talk about your husband. i can’t believe someone actually wanted to marry you.

AL: what are you talking about? he’s awesome. we’re best friends.

DB: i bet. you guys have a lot in common. you both were in punk bands. you’re both short. you’re both canadian. you both slept with paris hilton.

AL: what? i didn’t sleep with paris hilton! what are you talking about?!?

DB: oh, that’s right, just your husband did her. how weird is that? he goes from sleeping with paris hilton to sleeping with april levigne? seems pretty weird from where i sit. i’m thinking you drugged him. or paris did to get away.

AL: paris was way before me and he was in a weird part of his life.

DB: you mean it’s weird being in paris?

AL: god, shut up! no.

DB: so you did sleep with her, too.

AL: no! he dated her way before we even met. besides, what do i care anyway? he married me.

DB: i know. that was one bad lost bet. i thought he was putting out a record with his band, blink 182.

AL: it’s sum 41, you snatch. and they did put out an album. they’re on tour right now, too.

DB: so weird, i haven’t even heard anything from it. are you sure they actually put out the record?

AL: of course, i’m sure, jesus. i’m married to the guy.

DB: so, then where is it?

AL: what do you mean?

DB: where’s the freaking record? i mean, i have XM and everything, and i haven’t heard a single song.

AL: it’s out. it gets played at clubs, mostly.

DB: right. that’s why i haven’t heard it. why didn’t i think of that? when i think blink 182, i think club hits.

AL: his band isn’t freaking blink 182. it’s sum 41. it’s not that hard.

DB: wow. even britney’s drugged-out ‘gimme more’ got a lot of air time. sum 41 got it’s ass kicked by britney spears?

AL: what are you even talking about? britney spears is a piece of s—- mother who is crazy and a waste of space.

DB: that’s not true. that’s just your opinion. see? this is what i was talking about. do the world a favor and shut your face, already.

AL: i can’t believe this is how you treat the people you interview.

DB: i don’t. you called me, remember? i probably won’t even publish this. i was just effing with you.

AL: i hate you.

DB: not enough to hang up.

AL: whatever! you know what? you’re ful-

CLICK.

turns out, avril actually is dumber than she looks. i always thought that was just a saying.

*this interview isn’t real. it sure seems like it could be though.

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